Surviving Holiday Stress

Ah, the holidays. A time of joy, lights, festivities, and... stress.

There are many stressors during this time of year: buying gifts (especially during financial strain), family interactions, entertaining, travel hassles, and thinking about loved ones who have recently passed. These things can be overwhelming for all of us, and these stressors can be especially triggering for those who are experiencing mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. And while some symptoms of stress may require professional mental health treatment and support, there are some strategies you may be able to do yourself to lessen the emotional toll of the holidays. Who knows, maybe you'll find a strategy that you'll begin to use whenever you're stressed, whether it's the holiday season or not. You'll never know until you try it!

• Take four deep breaths. Close your eyes. Slowly inhale and exhale four times, making sure to completely exhale each time, pushing all the air out. If your thoughts wander, that's ok, just go back to focusing on your breathing. If you need some guidance, try inhaling and exhaling in sync with the video below. (Inhale as the shape grows larger, and exhale as it shrinks.)

(Source: ghostvvolfe)

• Acknowledge your feelings. It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling. If you're feeling tense and stressed, acknowledge it and take some time to do what you need to do to comfort yourself. If you've recently lost a loved one or can't be with loved ones, know that it's ok to feel sadness or grief. Give yourself some time to cry or express your feelings.
• Make yourself a priority. Remember to schedule some "me" time and take care of yourself. Once you take care of yourself, you'll be better able to check off your "to-do" items.

• Don't abandon healthy habits. It may be tempting to indulge in all the cookies or the extra eggnog, but focusing on your health and sticking to your routine can be so important. Try eating a healthy snack before holiday parties so you don't go overboard. Or take a small amount of your "less healthy" favorites and a larger amount of the healthier options. Try going for a walk after a meal and remember to drink plenty of water.
• Stay tobacco free. The holiday season can also be especially challenging for those who are working to quit smoking or stay tobacco free. Remember, the WI QuitLine is here to help, just call 1-800-QUIT-NOW to talk with a coach and get free quit medication sent to you. It can make quitting (or staying quit) much less stressful this holiday season.

• If you know of someone who may be struggling during the holidays, reach out. Whether they've lost a loved one, are experiencing a lot of stress in their life, or are just having a tough time, be there for them. Express your concern and sympathy, really listen to them, and ask what you can do to help. It could be helping them with errands, going out to lunch, or just sitting with them. If you think they might be experiencing a mental illness, remind them that mental illnesses are treatable and that help is out there.

Whatever works for you, remember to stick to it! We all have mental health and we all need to work on staying mentally healthy. We can't be truly healthy without taking care of our mental health, so this holiday season, make sure to pay some attention to your brain and emotions and practice self-care! 

Mental Health Awareness Month: re:TH!NKing taking care of our mental health

When we think about cancer, heart disease, or diabetes, we don’t wait years to treat them. We start before Stage 4—we begin with prevention. When people are in the first stage of those diseases and are beginning to show signs of symptoms like a persistent cough, high blood pressure, or high blood sugar, we try immediately to reverse these symptoms. We don’t ignore them. We don’t question the individual’s experiences. In fact, we develop a plan of action to reverse and sometimes stop the progression of the disease.

So why aren’t we doing the same for individuals who are dealing with potentially serious mental health conditions?

May is Mental Health Awareness month, and although we're nearing the end of the month, it is always the perfect time to raise awareness about mental health conditions and address the continued efforts needed to become a mentally healthy nation. Mental health conditions are defined as "conditions that impact a person's thinking, feeling or mood may affect and his or her ability to relate to others and function on a daily basis. Each person will have different experiences, even people with the same diagnosis" (NAMI). One in four American adults will have a diagnosable mental health condition in any given year and 50% of Americans will meet criteria for a diagnosable mental health condition sometime in their lifetime (MentalHealth.gov; Mental Health America). Mental health conditions are not only common, they are treatable. However, less than 20% of children and adolescents with diagnosable mental health conditions receive necessary treatment (MentalHealth.gov). Many people may not recognize the symptoms of mental health conditions and they may be unable to ask for help. Additionally, the stigma and silence that plagues mental health conditions prevents many from being able to recognize and acknowledge potential warning signs, let alone seek help and treatment. The warning signs of possible mental health conditions include:

• Depressed mood (sadness)
• Poor concentration
• Insomnia
• Fatigue
• Extreme mood swings
• Withdrawing or feeling isolated
• Talking about being a burden to others
• Feelings of guilt
• Thoughts of suicide
• Extreme irritability
• Agitation
• Increased risk-taking behavior
• Difficulty in organizing thoughts
• Emotional flatness

So what can YOU do to support your own mental wellness and create a culture that strives to support those who are experiencing mental health conditions?

• Talk. We all have mental health and we all experience difficulties staying mentally healthy sometimes, so being able to talk about it is important to us all. And you don't need to be an expert about mental health. Sometimes, just doing the little things, like asking someone how they are, is all it takes to let someone know you're still thinking about them and can make a big difference to how they're feeling. So talk with your family, friends, coworkers, and others about mental health. Need conversation starters? Text START to 89800 throughout the month of May 2015 for discussion questions through the national “Text, Talk, Act” program.
• Stop and smell the roses...literally. Take a walk outside. Enjoy a nearby park or notice the hints of a changing season. Studies show that being surrounded by nature is a mood booster.
• Switch up your exercise regimen. Try a dance class or a new sport. Exercising with other people can enhance its stress-reducing benefits. Even small additions of exercise throughout the day, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking your car farther away, can decrease tension and improve sleep.
• Make a list of activities you enjoy. Set aside time each week to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Remember, everyone deserves a break and we're often hardest on ourselves.

• Write down and share a few things that you are grateful for. Thinking about what you’re grateful for everyday can help to put into perspective all of the day-to-day stresses and worries that can overwhelm your mind.
• When your brain is bursting with worries, write them down. Release all those cooped-up worries and let the paper deal with them. By writing down your worries, you feel as though you’re emptying your brain, and you feel lighter and less tense.
• Take a few minutes to breathe deeply—in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try this technique: Pretend you’re taking a giant whiff of a bouquet of flowers, then pretend to blow out a candle.
• Treat people with mental health conditions with respect, compassion, and empathy. If you know someone with a mental health condition, be supportive and non-judgmental of them. Check in with them to see how they are doing and how you can help. It can be as simple as just being a friend. We all have mental health and we will all need support during tough times at some point in our lives.

Resources

• To help a friend who is struggling with mental health problems, express your concern and support and remind them that help is available and that mental health conditions can be treated. If they need help finding services, suggest that they call their family doctor, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-274-TALK (8255), text "Hopeline" 839863 (The Center for Suicide Awareness), or call United Way's
  2-1-1 directory to be connected with community resources. They can also visit findtreatment.samhsa.gov to find local treatment providers, free or low-cost services, payment/insurance options, languages available, and other information.

 

• If you’re concerned that you or a loved one may be experiencing a mental health condition, there are free and anonymous screenings available online at www.mentalhealthamerica.net/mental-health-screening-tools. Screening is an anonymous, free and private way to learn about your mental health and if you are showing warning signs of a mental condition. A screening only takes a few minutes, and after you are finished you will be given information about the next steps you should take based on the results. A screening is not a diagnosis, but it can be a helpful tool for starting a conversation with your doctor or a loved one about your mental health.

You can help end the silence and stigma around mental illness that discourages people from getting help. This is a month to make a difference in our communities. Let’s rethink how we talk about mental health and remember that there is no health without mental health.

How to enjoy the holidays when you or a loved one struggles with mental wellness

The holiday season is supposed to be about family and friends, gatherings, festivities, and cheer. There are ads on the TV showing smiling, happy families together for meals, playing in the snow, and getting brand new cars as presents. Stores in the mall boast that their deals will make your holiday perfect. However, what if you can’t even bear to get yourself out of bed to see all of the smiling faces of your family? Or an intense anxiety rolls over you with just the thought of having to socialize and pretend that you’re “normal”? 

For one in four Americans, this time of year may be especially difficult given their current struggles with their mental wellness and the stigma of mental illness that is present in much of their lives. However, we all have mental health, and mental illness can happen to anybody regardless of age, culture, race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, economic status, or location. So what can we do to enjoy the holidays if we or a loved one has a mental illness?

Tips for those struggling with mental illness or wellness (which could be all of us at some point!)

• Know that whatever you’re feeling at this moment, it’s right for you. Take care of yourself and remember to take a breather sometimes. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it’s alright to excuse yourself and take some time away. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and make sure to replenish yourself every once and a while. Find what works best for you to de-stress. For example, try these ideas on how to take a break:

Remember that your health (and yes, health includes mental health!) comes first!

• Stay connected and reach out. Sometimes it might feel tempting to isolate yourself and not socialize if it’s not what you want to do. But sometimes isolating yourself could make it worse. Even if it’s just calling up a friend or family member or even volunteering, you may feel better afterward. Just find the right level for you and challenge yourself to stay engaged. You might be surprised by the results!

• Live in the moment! It’s definitely easy sometimes to dwell on past regrets or setbacks, but if we focus on what we’re doing right now and look for something positive, it can lighten our mood and help us to enjoy our time. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or bogged down by negative thoughts, try simplifying things and focus just on your breathing. Then, slowly, focus on the positives, like watching snowflakes fall or the twinkle of lights! Take it one step at a time and try not to get frustrated if you end up back at your negative thoughts. Living in the moment takes practice!

• Don’t abandon your healthy routine. For many people who struggle with mental illness, daily routines are crucial to providing stability and consistency. It can be especially tempting during the holidays to overindulge, but try to keep some stability in your activities. Make sure to get plenty of sleep, get regular physical activity each day, and avoid excessive amounts of alcohol since alcohol may increase stress and interact with medication.

• Know when you need to seek professional help. It’s a sign of strength and self-awareness to ask for help when you need it. Please do not hesitate to reach out and ask for help if you feel like you need it.
• If you or someone you know is considering suicide or is in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) (en Espanol, 1-888-628-9454). There are trained crisis workers available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and all of the calls are confidential and toll-free. There is also a live online chat at: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

• If you are located in Calumet, Fond du Lac, Green Lake, Manitowoc, Marquette, Outagamie, Sheboygan, Waushara, Waupaca or Winnebago counties in Northeast Wisconsin, you can also call United Way's 2-1-1 to get information on mental health resources and help in your area.

• To get general information on mental health and locate treatment services in your area, call the SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline at 1‑877‑SAMHSA7 (1‑877‑726‑4727) Monday through Friday from 7am to 7pm CST.

Tips for family and friends of someone with a mental illness (and how to support those with mental illness in general):

• Be aware of how you talk and think about mental illness. What if a family member came to you and revealed that they have diabetes? How would you react? Like most people, you would probably express sympathy and concern and try to offer support. You would probably also believe that your family member’s condition will improve with treatment. However, what if a family member told you that they have a mental illness? How would your response be different? Unfortunately, for many of us, we separate mental illness from “physical” illnesses and respond differently. Let’s change that! Also, don’t label people with words like “crazy,” “wacko,” or “loony,” or define them by their diagnosis. Instead of saying someone is “a schizophrenic,” say she or he “has schizophrenia”. Instead of saying “a schizophrenic person,” say “a person with schizophrenia.” This person-first language helps reduce the stigma associated with these labels.

The comic below shows how uncomfortable it is when we talk about physical illnesses the same way we do as mental illnesses.

Comic courtesy of Robot Hugs

Instead of expressing the comments in the comic above, if someone tells you that they are experiencing a mental illness, try doing these:

• Express your concern and sympathy.
• Ask for more details about how he or she is managing. Really listen to the answers and continue the conversation. Make sure your friend understands that you honestly care.
• Ask what you can do to help. 
• Reassure your friend that you still care about him or her and be sure to include them in your plans.
• Remind your friend that mental illness is treatable. Ask if they're receiving the care they need and want. If not, offer helping them identify and get the right kind of care.

• Plan ahead and discuss plans in advance. Make sure that your loved one knows when celebrations will be, who will be there, and what to expect. Also make sure that others who are attending gatherings of family and friends are aware of the situation. This is a great opportunity to help those who are uncertain about mental illness or may feel uncomfortable to learn the facts about mental health and break the stigma.

• Keep it simple. Some people with mental illness may get easily overwhelmed or stressed with too many celebrations or events. Try to keep family get-togethers clear and simple and explain what to expect.

• Avoid assuming how individuals feel or what activities family members want to be a part of. Respect and support each family member’s choices regarding participation in family activities.

• Ignore what you cannot change. Let some things slide. Don’t waste energy arguing, threatening, or pleading. This can only raise tensions and hurt both yourself and your loved one. However, don’t ignore violence.

• Find creative ways of reducing your own stress. If you find yourself getting upset by something your loved one did or said, try to separate what has made you upset or angry from the person who did it. Remember that taking care of yourself first may help you better take care of your loved ones.

• Acknowledge the small steps! Helping someone with a mental illness to get better doesn't happen overnight. Help your family member make changes gradually. Be patient with them as they learn from the consequences of their behavior. Celebrating the small steps can improve both of your outlooks on their progress and can positively reinforce the changes they're making.

• Give yourself time and space for your own improvement. It takes time and practice to consistently use these approaches in order to help someone with a mental illness. The road to mental wellness for everyone can be long and winding, but you’ll get there with patience and persistence! Be kind to yourself and remember that everyone has their own battles they’re fighting!

Throughout this holiday season, keep in mind that everyone has mental health and everyone can strive for better mental wellness. We are all affected by mental illness in some shape or form, whether we know it or not. We need to support each other and ourselves so that we can all enjoy the holidays in the healthiest ways possible.